Download: 1_Oneness
I was reading on a dating website just recently that 8 out of 10 single people believe that that the first kiss gives a good indication of how a relationship will go. I wondered if this was true. Is it true that people believe that? And is it true that your first kiss will determine how the rest of your relationship will go? If so, what signs do you look for? If you bump heads is that a sign that you’re a mismatch or both super keen? If you come together perfectly is it a sign that you’re well matched or that you’re predictable and going to get bored of each other? Can a single physical act predict your whole relationship?
It makes you think too, what do sex and relationships have to do with each other? Can you have one without the other? I remember being told once that ‘Guys will use relationships to get sex and girls will use sex to get relationships’. Can you really separate the two? Are they like music and words, you can enjoy one or the other or both if you want? Or are they like the sun and its light? They are two things, but you can never talk about one without the other.
In the movie ‘Vanilla Sky’ Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz play David and Julia, a couple who are having casual sex in a ‘no strings attached’ kind of way. This is a happy arrangement at first. But Julia becomes more and more dissatisfied with their ‘relationship’ and eventually reveals in an teary outburst “don’t you know that when you sleep with someone your body makes a promise whether you do or not”.
In Genesis 2:24 God says about marriage “for this reason a man will leave his mother and father and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh”. This idea of one flesh in the Bible is a reference to sex but not only. In relationship a man and woman move out from being under their parents’ authority and join together as one. This “Oneness” includes everything: sex is together, raising a family is together, doing life is together and cannot be separated…just as Jesus says “what God has brought together let no man tear apart”.
So in the Bible you can’t separate the sexual from the relational just as you can’t separate the sun from its light, one will always be an expression of the other. God has made it that the physical “oneness” of sexual activity cannot be separated from the “oneness” of marriage. So if the experience of sex is meant to a full experience of “oneness”…why would we try break it up?
If someone said to you “you can have a full car in a year or I can give you a few pieces each day for a year then and you can try put it together at the end” you would probably take the first option. So why would we do this with sex? Instead of waiting we peal off small, incomplete portions one at a time that don’t really satisfy because they are not the whole experience as God intended. Hooking up here and there or with a few people will not amount to a full experience of “oneness” anymore than jumping a few times will give you a full experience of flying.
“Oneness” is about going all in. You commit your life, love and devotion to another in the covenant of marriage and in that oneness, you commit yourself sexually to one another too. Anything less is incomplete.
